Tijuana Monterrey 2018 September

#26 // 🌧️🌧️🌧️ → Gallardo Monterrey 3 – 0 Tijuana

Forget about Dorlan Pabón.

Credit the assist to the rain.

Or the God of Puddles.

Bringing glory to what’s easily the worst pass you’ll ever see on this site.





I mean, just look at that.

The hell is going on out there!?

It’s like that scene in Ghostbusters, where Bill Murray describes the apocalypse :

“Cats and dogs, living together… mass hysteria!”


There are ponds forming on the field, big enough to support marine life.

The keeper caught comically far off his line.

The ball hurrying to a stop, about the moment it hits the grass.

And C.F. Monterrey taking a 3-0 lead, in a game that should’ve never been played.



Speaking of Bill Murray, it reminds me of that scene in Caddyshack:

“I don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for quite a while…”



Monterrey has a team full of mudders, it’s now been shown.

Embrace it, I say!

To start, doctor the field a bit. Puddle it up around the penalty spot, in the corners.

In the 1910’s, the Detroit Tigers did just the thing for their star player, Ty Cobb—pouring water down the foul lines before home games, to create a soggy area (“Cobb’s Lake”) that would trap his bunts in the muck and let him reach base safely.

Soccer, as it’s been shown today, may have even more potential for this.

The Monterrey Mudders, we could call them.

“But it rained last night…”

“Exactly—this team loves the slop!”



What the climate tends to be like in that part of Mexico—I don’t really know.

But find a way, C.F. Monterrey, to take from this an advantage.

Do the rain dance before kick-off.

Change cities if necessary. Follow the clouds.

Consult the literature of the conspiracy theorists who say Bill Gates controls the weather—and get him on down to Monterrey.

Rig up for yourself some thunder. Some rain.

And play, over the loudspeakers, your official new good-luck song: